How to Be Friends With Your Boss at Work - The Muse

How to Be Friends With Your Boss at Work - The MuseHow to Be Friends With Your Boss at WorkThat line between being manager and employee and buddy-buddy is a tricky one to navigate. You dont want to be too buttoned up, but you dont want to color too far outside the lines either. You want to have a great relationship with your supervisor, but you dont want to forget about the ever-present asymmetry of power. So how do you walk the tightrope of being friendly with your anfhrer while stopping short of being close pals? 1. Leave the Crazier, Most NSFW Parts OutYou know that moment when everyone is gathered around the coffeemaker, hoping that third cup will do the trick. One colleague mentions the party he went to on Friday night another one talks about the new guy shes seeing. Sharing the escapades of your weekend is fine with co-workers who are also good friends, but your boss doesnt need to be regaled with tales of your crazy Saturday night, no matter how friendly the two of you are. A key component of any great employee is strong judgment. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes or does things he might not choose not to repeat if given a do-over, and if those things dont relate to work and dont reflect well on you, theres no need for your boss to know about them.2. Follow Your Boss LeadWhen it comes to casual conversations with your boss, follow her lead. Not every conversation has to be about work in fact, you probably dont want it to be that way. Its great to be able to talk to your supervisor casually about things other than spreadsheets and client deliverables, but developing a strong rapport means venturing off professional topic too. When those side conversations pop up, let your manager pick the topic- at least initially. Once youve established that going off on non-work related tangents is OK from time to time, you can then decide to strike up conversation on the TV show youre binging or the new restaurant you tried over the weekend.3. Know Your Triggers and Yo ur LimitsEveryone has things that push him over the edge- pet peeves, personal insecurities, workplace drama. But before you blow off steam in front of your calm and collected manager, take a deep breath and, if necessary, excuse yourself for a couple of minutes to recollect yourself. Losing your cool or misfiring your emotions rarely goes over well, and if you act in haste youll likely be holding your head in your hands later on when you realize how easily your bitch session couldve been avoided. Being aware of your limits is right up there with knowing what triggers you. Ask yourself honestly how many glasses of wine you can consume before you become a person youre not so interested in your boss seeing, or before you find it difficult to stick to the topics youve decided are kosher for sharing with your boss.4. Dont Share Anything You Wouldnt Want Him to RememberIts tempting to share your views when the conversation is in full swing and your boss is sharing his frustrations about whats going wrong with the company. Keep in mind that your boss will continue to be in a position of power long after hes stopped being irritated. If youll be sorry you said it when he gets back to loving the company with all his heart, save your venting for your mom instead. Remember that active listening can be just as engaging as sharing your own views- not to mention it leaves you with far fewer causes for nightmares.While nobody expects you to be perfect, the old less-is-more adage works quite well when it comes to being friends with your boss. She evaluates your work, and makes decisions about your compensation, workload, and promotion status. Theres no need to be aloof and pretend like you dont have a life outside the office, but its important to keep the relationship dynamic in mind.Photo of woman talking to her boss courtesy of Westend61/Getty Images.